We are - slowly - adjusting to the loss of George. The arguments over the kids bites - mostly because the people in question are not being open - or even kind - about it all in my opinion. I don't think they are doing any favors to themselves, and ESPECIALLY not to the kids or my sister.
We are working on getting C's house ready - the downstairs is first, and things are to be moved in this weekend. Should be interesting.
25 November 2008
15 November 2008
This wasn't supposed to happen!
My sister's fiance, George, lost his battle with AML early this morning. respiratory and heart
failure, 4 days after his diagnosis. A good man who passed too soon at 34, father of 3.
This should have been their wedding shower celebration day.
This wasn't supposed to happen! They were supposed to marry, live together for 50+ years, raise their kids, .....this is so wrong. WRONG dammit. I'm torn between anger and tears - mostly for my sister and the kids, but partially for me. She was getting everything she hoped for finally - and gave me hope and it it just too terrible for words. I want to do more than cry, comfort, plan, - I want to destroy something.........and it won't do any good whatsoever. I'm trying NOT to imagine all my sister must be thinking - what all the kids must be thinking - because I break down every time.
I know taht the worst despair will ease, but I'm afraid of the time it will take, of how far the wounds will go....of losing my grip on sanity, on hope for the future, on faith that things will work out for the best - I'm so tired of it all right now part of me wants to just....disappear? quit? none of it will help...so I've got to do what I've done for so long - put one foot in front of the other and try to maintain the illusion that all will be well............
failure, 4 days after his diagnosis. A good man who passed too soon at 34, father of 3.
This should have been their wedding shower celebration day.
This wasn't supposed to happen! They were supposed to marry, live together for 50+ years, raise their kids, .....this is so wrong. WRONG dammit. I'm torn between anger and tears - mostly for my sister and the kids, but partially for me. She was getting everything she hoped for finally - and gave me hope and it it just too terrible for words. I want to do more than cry, comfort, plan, - I want to destroy something.........and it won't do any good whatsoever. I'm trying NOT to imagine all my sister must be thinking - what all the kids must be thinking - because I break down every time.
I know taht the worst despair will ease, but I'm afraid of the time it will take, of how far the wounds will go....of losing my grip on sanity, on hope for the future, on faith that things will work out for the best - I'm so tired of it all right now part of me wants to just....disappear? quit? none of it will help...so I've got to do what I've done for so long - put one foot in front of the other and try to maintain the illusion that all will be well............
12 November 2008
Social Security
Yet again the SSA has "reviewed my account" and discovered that they owe me money....
but wait...didn't they just say that I owed THEM money? This is only the 4th or 5th time they've recalculated this in the last few months....can't they make up their mind?
Because of this, my youngest loses her health insurance for the month of December - and she still has a couple thousand dollars of medical bills every month.......so now what am I supposed to do? The 50 they are to send me will NOT cover the difference, so I'm screwed. I've asked if they could pay it out over a few months so that she doesn't lose her coverage, but the answer was no.....which did NOT make my day any better.
My insurance (COBRA) ends this month, so now neither my daughters nor myself will have insurance...........
Hope nothing happens in December.
but wait...didn't they just say that I owed THEM money? This is only the 4th or 5th time they've recalculated this in the last few months....can't they make up their mind?
Because of this, my youngest loses her health insurance for the month of December - and she still has a couple thousand dollars of medical bills every month.......so now what am I supposed to do? The 50 they are to send me will NOT cover the difference, so I'm screwed. I've asked if they could pay it out over a few months so that she doesn't lose her coverage, but the answer was no.....which did NOT make my day any better.
My insurance (COBRA) ends this month, so now neither my daughters nor myself will have insurance...........
Hope nothing happens in December.
cancer strikes again
This time, my soon-to-be brother-in-law. Diagnosed yesterday with AML (leukemia). Currently in ICU>
He and my sister just bought a house two weeks ago...marriage scheduled for 31 December....
He has three kids
This is really NOT what they needed.
He and my sister just bought a house two weeks ago...marriage scheduled for 31 December....
He has three kids
This is really NOT what they needed.
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