Gaining ground

So, in the effort to regain control over my sanity, I am still not working...even the government agreed that I am screwed up. That is only partially a good thing, in my view.
Anyhow. I am starting Chorale again, along with singing in the church choir. Yep. Me at church. I'm giving another try at being with a group of christians. I hope that this time it is better. My girls both need it, so here we go. I love being in the choir, so that's a good thing.

On the suggestion of my mother, which rather surprised me by the way, I am working at the Spirit Acres Equine Rescue twice a week. I've not worked with horses (or stables, for that matter) since I was 12! A lot of exercise, and some work with horses. Not too much right now, but I'll get there. All those years of working with 11 to 14 year olds actually helps when dealing with these stallions! I Of course, I'm bringing them fresh water and food so at least that part is easily explained!

My goal tomorrow is to get J up, prepared, and to school without rushing her. This means that I should already be asleep, but for whatever reason it isn't happening again tonight.

Part of me is getting better at accomplishing things that need to be done, but I still fail more than AI should. Frustrating and depressing, frankly. Hard to keep going.

Relationship wise, I'm happy, but wondering if I'm always going to be 'invisible' to everyone as part of this couple. I guess it is because we are both gun-shy about doing so. Things are getting better, it is just taking longer than I like. Or he likes, for that matter. Just when he gets things set up to improve things something else spazzes out. I have to keep reminding myself (and him sometimes) that the overall picture is much improved ...

My ex called yesterday and needed me to go and sign papers about the time-share we had...apparently he never got the papers done to remove my name five years ago! Time consuming, but pretty easy.

J needs new glasses. I realized today that the ones she has are way too small...

Someone I helped this last year/spring apparently has decided that I don't exist...which hurts, but I guess I should have known better. Now I have to figure out how to deal with the fallout, because of it. I really would like to slap him or something - not useful, I know, but my temper would like to do it anyhow.

I have to go to TX DHHS tomorrow. I don't feel comfortable doing so, but I don't have a choice, either.

Enough. Enough. Enough....I'm off to bed.

A new school year begins....

Well, I feel rather old tonight. My baby, E, begins kindergarten! Actually, I'm having problems accepting the fact that J is now a 4th grader! I'm too young to be this old.... lol

No, seriously though - I'm having a bit of a problem with this. It doesn't help any that, for the first time in six years, I'M not starting school (was a teacher). Quite odd feeling, really.

E will be allowed to go to school in October, but she will be on homebound until then. We are happy, because originally the guideline was that she would be unable to attend school for the first year!

Hurrah!

today...

Today I will collect the pieces left behind and start building myself anew
Today I will freely show my love to those around me
Today I will forgive those that caused me pain
Today I will start over, and begin to live for myself
Today I try again....